She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
