she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
