I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
