I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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