Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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