your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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