I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize