Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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