Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
