im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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