i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
