their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize