you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
