I like to think it a success when the cops are called
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
