can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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