I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
