Porn is love you can see.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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