Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
