Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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