So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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