Kiss
Puke
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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