so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
