I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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