Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
