Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm at about main and main street
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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