Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.

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(804): View more from Virginia

is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?

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(858): View more from California

Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding

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(757): View more from Virginia

i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

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(734): View more from Michigan

debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train

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(512): View more from Texas

the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe

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