i permit you to call me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
