dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Your penis caused this!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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