i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
40s are totally the cure
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
