my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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