Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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