There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize