i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
