when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
