We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
