wrigley field is MILF paradise
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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