I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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