I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
