yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
