I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize