you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
