Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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