You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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