This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I wear drunk well.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize