it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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