she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
