Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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