All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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