Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
