Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize