The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
