New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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