how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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