my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
