she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
