new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize