im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
